Mum always loved a good quote...
Chantal
Mum loved a good quote we put her most frequently used ones on her memorial card. But in the last couple of months of her being with us she started writing some thoughts of her own based on things she had read or felt like she was having revelations about. Here is a space dedicated to them…
1st May - 5th May 2018
This was a quiet weekend with just spending time with each other and the Lord. Sadly the latter was a bit difficult as my body was struggling to adjust as I had been eating foods I should have avoided and consequently I suffered. John had to help me with the bursting blisters but Praise God, we have been using the colloidal gel which works better than the spray to stop the blisters bleeding too much.
I feel more rested today, after pacing myself and listening to Chantal to take it easy after Dee left, I had a sleep. I prayed and had my quiet time and what a blessing that was!!
I was glad, we postponed any visits from family this week as it might have been too much. The Lord is awesome and knows my every need even before I do. He knows my sitting down and my rising (Psalm 139 1-3)
He is my constant help. Oh how I love Him.
Love you too.
Joan xxx
24 May 2018
Subject: Surrender
Before I write down what God has put on my heart, let me tell you what a lovely, Spirit filled time we had last night praising and thanking God at Alex and Rita’s.
What struck me was the need for believers to gather together to pray for one another as there were many there who were burdened and needed spiritual support. Imagine if I felt such a compassion, how much more the Lord who loves us so much. We came with our little embers and were a roaring flame by the end of the evening filled with a renewed Hope and Strength that God was there listening and answering our prayers. For we walk by Faith not by sight. (11 Cor 5:7)
Five years ago when I was first diagnosed with Breast cancer, after the initial shock, I just stood in front of the cross in my bedroom and totally surrendered my body, soul and mind to the Lord. I knew then that it was out my control and total surrender was what I had to do. Previously, I had sung hymns about surrender but really didn’t know that it had to be total surrender. But when I did that sincerely I felt a peace that I can’t even explain. From that time on till today I feel removed from the situation and it doesn’t seem to effect me as badly, even when the doctor’s prognosis was not as good. When you don’t totally surrender you are holding some of the control and it doesn’t work because then your mind is still thinking of ways to change things and ask why? And let’s face it, you can’t. When your body stops responding to conventional treatment as well as natural remedies, you know only God can do a work here. So I believe this is for His glory because we have a wonder working God!!
I feel very hopeful and grateful to be used for His glory.
God bless you,
Joan xxx
25 May 2018
Subject: Trusting
Yesterday a couple of nurses arrived from the hospice along with my designated nurse to see how best to monitor me and the pain (which I don’t have). They were obliged to speak to me about my end of life management regarding resuscitation for which they need me to sign a form. They were very knowledgeable and professional but they were still looking at the situation with a human and temporal perspective for which I don’t blame them. Praise God, I have been given a hope that is supernatural that even they were inspired by.
(11 Cor 4:18) Since we look not to things that are seen but to things that are unseen, for things that are visible are temporary, but things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting. Whenever Chantal put the cream on my body, she urged me not to look at the blisters but at the face of Jesus. So instead of gazing at the problem, I focus my attention on Christ and His healing love which gives me renewed strength and hope. However bad my current situation may look, I cannot let go of the fact that God loves me very much. I can trust Him and know that everything will work out for good because of His great love for me. Let us keep on trusting in our trustworthy God.
Thank you in Jesus’ name.
Lots of love,
Joan xxx
26 May 2018
Subject: Faith
From a very young age, we are taught to reason and ask why and yet Faith is diagonally apposed to reasoning because it actually is questioning God’s authority. So it is now quite a relief when I can lean on Him and trust Him fully. After all that has happened in the last couple of years, I feel more and more confident in His ability and knowledge of the future. I firmly believe that you cannot please God without faith.
A wise man named Richard Wumbrand said “Faith begins, where reasoning ends”
We have to learn to lean on Him and trust in Him and not on our own understanding.(Prov 3:5)
I love what Proverbs 3:8 says - It shall be health to your nerves and sinews, and marrow and moistening to your bones. I can do with that!! So now I place all my trust and faith in you Lord Jesus.
Lots of love,
Joan xxx
27th May 2018
Subject: Grace
I thought it was too good to be true and then I fell from grace all because I was trying to be something that I was not made to be. God made me a human ‘being’ but I was trying hard to be a human ‘doing’. In my present weak condition I was attempting to do more than I could and not too successfully. It was hot, and some blisters were bleeding but my pride was hurting more and making me cross and frustrated. I had slipped so easily from being in His presence into wanting to accomplish tasks that were beyond me. Praise God for His infinite mercy and grace because when I realised this, I asked pardon and forgiveness from John, Carol and Chris I was able to move on.
I felt so blessed that I am able to go directly back to God and know that He is merciful and gracious enough.
I pray that you too feel God’s grace and love today in a tangible way. (Hebrews 4:16)
Much love,
Joan xxx
29th May 2018
Subject: Surrender
Yesterday John left for Hamburg for 2 nights and Chris & Carol looked after me. We had a little prayer time together and they prayed I sleep through the night which I did. I felt the Lord look after me and care for me so beautifully.
The Lord spoke to me last night about surrender and the freedom that it brings. This is not my battle anymore and I don’t need to know why, when or how it will end. I noticed when I gave up asking questions, a peace came over me because I was not in control. Not even the health professionals can do anything, so I am totally depending on His grace and leaning on Him. If I go from Faith to doubt it doesn’t work, so I have to stay positive and allow God to be in control by surrendering control completely. Otherwise, I have to be my own god and work things out myself, which I am not capable of doing.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Phil4:13)
Surrender to His will and you will experience the same peace.
I love you,
God bless you,
Joan xxx
31st May 2018
Subject: Honour
I’m currently learning how to not make a difference between the sacred and the secular. In my eagerness to stay close to God, I thought it was necessary to concentrate on Him more but He has taught me that I can honour Him in all that I do and bring glory to Him. This I’m learning from Brother Lawrence, a 16th century monk who did the simplest tasks even in the kitchen for God’s glory. We don’t need technology or science to know God’s heart just stay in His presence and whenever I get distracted I don’t worry, I just come back without feeling guilty.
When I lose that presence, I lose that peace, so in order to carry on my everyday tasks and still stay in His presence, I have chosen to practice His presence. I try to honour Him by doing those things well, small and insignificant though they are.
I believe it takes 6 weeks to form a habit, so I will try.
Take care and God bless you,
Love you,
Joan xxx
1st June 2018
Subject: Rest
Chris and Carol left yesterday and I was sad but they had to go back to NZ. I tried to do exactly what I did the night before so I could sleep from 11:30 to 6:30 am but the steroids had a different reaction. I could not sleep after 1:30 am try as I might. So I am here writing even though I feel a bit weary so I will not write much as my body needs to rest and be restored. John returned from Hamburg very late and then had to go to Heathrow so we both could do with a quiet weekend. So if you don’t hear from me for a couple of days don’t worry.
I will get back on Monday, if the Lord wants to still use me.
I am still holding on to my faith and especially don’t want to lose the joy of the Lord as that is undoubtedly my strength. Even when I don’t feel joyful, I make myself say it out loudly as that is God’s promise to me and the devil doesn’t like to hear it. I have come to realise that feelings are fickle and if we rely on them nothing will happen. So now more than ever, I need your prayers.
God bless you and love you,
Joan xxx
7th June 2018
Subject: Discipline & Eating
On the 30th May ‘18, when the nurse checked my blood sugar it was 10.1 but when she checked it again yesterday, it was 11.1 which alarmed me. I have now decided to be more disciplined about what I put in my mouth as it has repercussions. As I am on steroids I’m prone to steroid related diabetes which I have to watch carefully. But I am not going to worry as that does not give God the glory. I have learned that ‘worry’ and ‘meditation’ are the same only one focuses on the problem and it gets bigger but the other concentrates on God and what He can do about it. So guess what, I’m going to focus on and meditate on God and His goodness to me.
I have begun having Fenugreek soaked the previous night and I know God revealed that to me through Tessie yesterday. I will check the results when the nurse comes tomorrow.
From now on I am going to eat copious amounts of vegetables. God has given us the tools, we just need to use right judgment. I am so excited about my brother- in-law Vernon and sister Nita coming to visit us soon. I can sit at their feet and learn about diets. Nothing is wasted. We can exchange recipes. Praise God!!
Love you
Joan xxx
8th June 2018
Subject: Connected
I am learning more and more about humility than ever before. A hallmark of a Christian has got to be humility. If I was full of myself, there would not be place for God to fill me with anything so I am the worse off. This is not easy because as soon as you achieve anything you think you are able, little realising that it was God who gave you the ability to do it in the first place. I suppose this is why we are called believers and not achievers.
It is very easy to get ahead of oneself but I’m trying hard to stay connected to the vine so that I can draw all the nourishment I can get from the source. I need it so much now. (John 15: 1-5)
I love you
Joan xxx