On the 29th July 2018 after battling secondary breast cancer that had spread to her skin and brain my dear Mum went to be with Jesus. She was 63 and full of love and laughter. It was so hard as she left such a massive hole in my life. But God was kind and has carried me and surrounded me with love and healing and I’ve come to a place where I can finally put this website together to share her recipes, thoughts on God and hopefully as you read this, you will feel the love too.

I have put in sections that hopefully will pass on helpful resources to anyone suffering cancer or supporting someone going through it. Also I wanted a place to share resources that have helped me in my grief too. If just one person is helped through this, then it is worth doing.

A bit about my Mum… (This was her Eulogy)

To only write a page about my Mum is hard, as I could probably write a whole book.

To all of you here who knew Mum there are probably 3 things she was known best for: her great love for her family and friends (and actually all she met); her mad cooking skills/being a feeder and; her big love for Jesus.

Mum and Dad met 38 years ago at a prayer meeting (while Mum was on posting in the UK for air India) and it was clear from the start that she and Dad were meant to be. Within 2 times of meeting each other my Grandma asked my Dad what his intentions were towards Mum and he said to marry her! And soon enough, they were married, with Mum moving to the UK in the 80’s when people weren’t so friendly to foreigners. But Mum in her way would keep on talking to people and being kind to them until she broke them. We have a running joke in our family that Mum could talk to a stone and make it talk back. She loved to chat and connect with people, she always made people feel special and loved, and always would be trying to feed you, it was how she showed love (that’s a true Indian for you). Thanks to Mum all Indian restaurants are ruined for us, you never would have believed she couldn’t cook when she first came to the UK, but Dad said he prayed and then Mum would have recipes sent from Grandma and she ended up being a master chef and teaching Indian Cookery at night School.

From there Mum went on to teach Maths in a Men’s prison in Liverpool and then in the Women’s open Prison in Kent. She loved it! She loved her students, and even when we asked ‘what has that one done?’ she would answer with such love ‘I don’t know, I don’t ask them’. She would see the prisoners as God would see them, not for what they’d done but for who they were and she just loved on them.

One of the most wonderful gifts for me growing up was watching my Mum and Dad’s love for each other. It has given me something to aspire to, as they were truly devoted to one another from the time they first met all the way up until Mum’s last breath. Up until she was bed ridden she would stand at the window and wave goodbye to Dad every morning as he went to work. Their love was evident in a multitude of ways, they would hold hands whilst watching TV every night and or they would be playing games of Rummikub or Scrabble. They were John and Joan, always united and working together, spreading love.

During the last 3 weeks at the hospice, Dad slept on a fold up bed next to Mum every night and showed such incredible care for Mum through all her suffering. I would say to Dad ‘Are you ok doing this?’ and he would say ‘Mum’s my friend, I want to be with her’. When Mum couldn’t speak anymore and Dad would return to the hospice I would say ‘Your boyfriends on his way!’ and she would have a massive smile… just to clarify it was Dad. It would make me cry seeing them together, their love was just so special right up until the end.

On the topic of her children - I’m sorry. If you know mum you’ve probably heard a lot about Joe and I which is really awkward when we meet you. She was very proud of us and we would have to remind her “not everyone wants to know all about your children Ma”. But saying that we think we had the best Mum in the world and this is the time where it’s ok for us to say that without sounding braggy. She would get so excited when we would come home, feed us as much as possible and make us laugh so much. She was still making us laugh even when she was in pain in the hospice, she always kept her cheeky sense of humour.

Finally, if there’s one thing our mum loved more than anything it was Jesus and if there was one thing she would want you to know it would be that Jesus loves you so much and wants a relationship with you. The love that people felt and saw in Mum, her beauty on the inside, her warm smile and her compassion and care for others all stemmed from her strong faith. This is what kept her going to the very end. She wanted to tell everyone about God and where she got her strength from. She suffered so, so, much but she finished her race strong, she was holding onto her little wooden cross to the end with grace. I would say to her ‘God is good’ and even through her pain she would reply ‘All the time’ with her beautiful smile on her face.

We love you so much Mama, you will never be matched, all the love, laughs, generosity and care you have shown all of us, our hearts hurt as we miss you. But praise God you’re up there with our Father in Heaven now, no more suffering or pain, fully healed and whole and just joy. Maybe even cooking some curries!? You were always aiming to practice God’s presence here on Earth - now you’re doing it fully.